the ability to jump up absurd down. Without your feet leaving the ground.

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the super power of being a housewife..

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The power to have consensual sex with any dog of your choice.

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The power to turn wine into water

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The power to turn your knee any shade of orange on every full moon.

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The power to fly, but only while your feet are touching the ground.

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the power to turn star wars figurines into sticky notes, only on sunday afternoons

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The power to have the confidence to ask anyone out but always get rejected.

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The power to sweat blood uncontrollably out of your anus while singing to Justin Beiber and stabbing yourself in the dick with a machete

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Super strength, but the only thing it affects is feathers.

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The power to make everyone you touch see nothing but porn

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The power to look at huge breasts and avoid thinking about it.

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The power to get older every second

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The power to shit purple butterflies.

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The power to breath in lava, If you don't burn.

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The power to spell words incorrectly when speaking.

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The power to piss with REALLY high force.

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The power to see red in a slightly lighter shade

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The power to create little lightning bolts, but only by peeing on a electrical device, you can create little tiny lightning bolts.

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The power to vote for Hillary Clinton and be happy with the decision that you made.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to travel faster than the speed of light but never slower than the speed of light.

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The power to lose body parts spontaneously.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!