The power to give onesself a heart attack just by thinking about it.

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The power of getting aroused when someone rubs your kneecaps.

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The power to find hiding spots quicker... like anne frank and osama bin ladin

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The power to think of pointess facts at any given moment

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The power to use the english language to grammatical perfection. er, ferpection.

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The power to lift liquids, as long as they're in some sort of solid container.

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The power to see into the present

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The power to become a lime only when you're left nipple brushes against your left shoe whilst it is superglued to your ding dong and you're strapped to a bed naked in the woods.

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The power to make your penis able to go through any nown material in the universe even a dwarf star. However it is 1000x more sensitive to pain than normal. And once you start you can't stop until it's trough.

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The power to strap a bomb on your chest, walk into a crowded area, and detonate it

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the power that makes your ass turn into a shit machine gun, but you can only use it if its directed at your mouth.

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The power to change the channel with your mind, but only to the Weather Network.

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The power to control Rollie pollies

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The power to lift any weight but only when you're lifting something light.

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the ability to know if a video game sucks just by looking at the name

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The power to sexually attract whales

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The ability to know everything about knowing nothing.

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The power to be jelous of your friend's new sports car

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The power to slap the thigh and ride the wave :P

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The power to do get 100% in a christian studies exam, but fail everything else.

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The power to sing but your mute

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The power to be able to see through clothes, but only men over the age of 65.

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Your average Axel entering a Phone Booth and coming out as... MORAL MAN! Moral: Where the damn do you find a Phone booth nowadays?

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!