The ability to cause cancer, but only at your own joyful events, like on your birthdays, wedding day, etc.

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The power to see one second into the future before the moment you die but not be able to change anything.

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50% invisibility while farting.

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The power to understand that Jesus called himself Son of man, which translates into Anderson, which makes a certain movie make a bit more sense. Moral: THIS IS MY WORLD MISTER ANDERSON! MY WOOOOOORLD!

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The power to psychically give politicians half baked excuses for failed and immoral decisions.

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Guys, it's over.

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the power to convert farts into burps.

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THE POWER TO FUCK ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK

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The power to speak in braille...

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The power to swim as fast as Sonic The Hedgehog

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The power to predict yesterday's weather

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the ability to die at will, just by blinking

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the power to blind and nausiat yourself for 12 hours straight with no way to stop it ohh and the power the eat hairy dicks

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the power to make elton john gay

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the power to transform into biggie smalls after he just died

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the power to become friends with your least favorite teacher on facebook.

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The ability 2 fast forward cox on demand

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The power to be a normal person

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The power to be invisible when absolutely nobody is watching you (including cameras)

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The power to talk to your socks but only when they're dying...

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power to be an alcohoic

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the power to orgasm more than once in one round of sex. the thing is, after the 4th time, it gets slightly uncomfortable.

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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The ability to shrink the size of your third toe on your right foot every leap year.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!