The power to get everything for free after you have payed it.

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The power to outthink the smartest people ever conceived, but only remember what you though for an attasecond.

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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The power to telekinetically pull sharp objects towards you at incredible speeds.

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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The ability to turn chips back into potatoes

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The power to identify enemies by the color of their skin.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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The power to beat any video game after you've beaten it

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The power to slow down time while you are at school

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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The power to shoot flames from your hands, only its not really warm.

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the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

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Q: What is 1+1? A: An equation.... Duh...

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the power to cheat your right hand with your left hand

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The power to fly but only if you standing on the ground

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The power to add a minus to your bank account balance.

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The power to make any girl attracted to you. Unless the girl is anywhere above a 7 on the hot scale

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The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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The ability to cut oneself on objects that shouldn't, in any respect, be sharp.

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My charms is my superpower, but damn I cant shut up after spending some quality time with the ladies! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! MY BODY WAS NOT READY! I feel like yelling out my real name, but you know, if you know me (I am easily recognizable) the girls I spend time with would feel like I am bragging about them, and I am not, I am simply celebrating my conquest, you see, you came, you saw... BUT I CONQUERED! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT Moral: Feel free to thumb this down, my superpowers need to be contained, or else I will beep my way to an early grave! Girls, mwah... and you know, just dodge the kiss if you cant handle love personified, they arent homing nor anything... Should I ask my doctor if she has any medications that will help me wire down after uh... Multiple female company? HAHAHAHAAAAAAH!... The thought made me kinda sad, im better, now just to prove to my company here that I got balls of steel, I am gonna post this and let you judge me all you want! BECAUSE YOU CANT HAVE EM!

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The power to swim very fast in shallow water.

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The power to clap louder than anyone else in the room but only at inappropriate times

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!