The power to spontaneous combust on the third Wednesday of October.

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The Power to realize the Chuck Norris is overrated, not funny, not that strong, old, over used and anyone who tells a Chuck Norris joke is not funny and never will be, has no future as a comedian or any future at all and will die having not accomplished anything in life.

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The power to get addicted to any drug ever unless you constantly use them.

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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The power to swallow chewed up food.

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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The ability to turn chips back into potatoes

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The power to read the TV

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The power to identify enemies by the color of their skin.

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Uber Sensitive man, in terms of touch and emotion.

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The power to beat any video game after you've beaten it

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The power to slow down time while you are at school

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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the ability to say "you're killing me", without irony...to my murderer

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The power to teleport your self 5 feet ahead of you every 3 seconds

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the power to cheat your right hand with your left hand

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The power to create a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that creates a power that does nothing.

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The ability to make someone love you but only if they are heavier than 300kg

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The power to be a man that makes very good sammiches.

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The power to go blind at will.

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The ability to do nothing

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The ability to cure anyone of AIDS for 37 seconds

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The power to swim very fast in shallow water.

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The power to clap louder than anyone else in the room but only at inappropriate times

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!