The ability to turn into Jeff the Magic Cactus Baby, for a second, while you are sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

The ability to read anything, and never understand it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The power to meme 20% harder

thumb_up thumb_down +35

The power to speak in morse code

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The power to come second in any race

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The power to read minds, but only your own.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The power to make any woman have earth shattering totally consuming climaxes at will, but only if she's having sex with another man

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the power to die....

thumb_up thumb_down -45

The power to increase the rate of plant and fungal matter growth by 15% by staring intently at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

The ability to become a paraplegic at will.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

the power to say i can bend you

thumb_up thumb_down -125

The ability to hand in assignments 1 day late

thumb_up thumb_down +154

The ability to move your own internal organs, causing extruciating pain

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to inhale beverages through your genitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

The ability to never pick up on sarcasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The power to be a mistborn but only if you're on Scadrial.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

power to make you the last man on earth, but all the ladies are lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -56

The useless pewer to increase your useless power at will! Moral: THE POWER TO SPAWN IN THE CENTER OF THE SUN AFTER DEATH INCREASE!

thumb_up thumb_down +123

The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power to have orgasm everytime a cold breeze rolls in

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to move infinitely fast up spiral staircases, but the inability to go down them.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to not have any powers

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The power to teleport 1 inch but you can only do that once a week and it waists your energy for the entire week.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The power to eat toilet paper and crap self-wiping poop. Think about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!