The power to grow giant, sharp and needly painful dildoes out of any surface just by sitting on it.

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The power to fart shamelessly on the first date.

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The power to make power orgasm on command

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the power to teleport anywhere and see anything but every time to teleport there's 75% chance you'll die

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The power to disgorge large quantities of water, from your anus, all the time.

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The power... to move you.

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The ability to breath under lava

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the ability to recite any nations alphbet BACKWARDS

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I have the superpower that lets me erase the memories of amnesiacs! Beware! Beware!

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The power to clone yourself 1000`s of times times and fly really fast upwards for 10 minutes as soon as you die. (Your corpses landing everywhere)

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The ability to see through closed empty boxes.

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The power of coming back from dying but dying 1 second later.

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The power to turn gold into dust

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The power to eat your left index finger, and have it regrow out of your belly button.

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The power to be superman on a planet without a sun

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To have the abilities to almost be as powerful as God, but you're an existentialist.

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the ability to duct tape an alarm clock to the side of your head

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The power to read minds, but only your own.

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the power to fart at the worst moments

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The power to have a 17% avoidance rate to stepping on lego bricks.

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The power to write on this website

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The power to teleport to the center to the center of the Earth.

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the power to make double rainbows in the sky, but after that, it turns in a double hurricane.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!