the power of having super fast growing body hair. It grows a half inch a day.

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The ability to print random memes on their tongue, but it has to be one that everyone in the room has seen before.

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The power to put water up my butt and squeeze and shitty water squirts out.

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The power to know exactly when you are going to die, instantly! (died instantly)

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The power to turn into a mouse when in full view of a hawk.

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The power that everytime someone sneezes, a living porpoise erupts from your anus.

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The power to make cats ask for cheeseburgers in comically broken English

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The power to teleport a real life Herobrine in your face

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the ability to have sex with a sand spur

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The power to slip on anything.

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The power to type in Comic Sans.

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the power of spontaneous combustion but only when you get an erection

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The power to turn load noises into cake

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The power to divide by 0

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The power to live with only one kidney

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The power to STFU!

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The power to laugh with you shitty powers...

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the power to know when it isn't either 4 or 9 o'clock.

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The power to stop making up pointless super powers and submiting them on a website called pointless superpowers

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The ability to shoot blueberry muffins from my fingertips.

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The power to break out of jail when you're not in jail.

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The power to travel faster then the speed of smell

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being allergic to dairy and soy

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!