the power to fall asleep whenever you want, but only in bathtubs

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The power to have car insurance, but only when you don't have a car.

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The power to not have a power.

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The ability to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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The power to be Emperor of farmville but only in a full eclipse

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the power to dodge cars only when they are parked

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The ability to say "MISSING FINGERS" on Shitbrix.com

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the power to make food shrimp.

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The power to be able to make your least favorite food or drink, but you cannot eat it and it only technically exists if you don't look at it.

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the power to make body fat go away

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The power to get the bullet every time you play russian roulette

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The ability to kill Abraham Lincoln with the power of your thoughts. Hey, wait a minute...

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the power to dance in the dark

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The power to buy anything for free, as long as it is black.

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the ability to invent in the speed of light good useless super powers ideas.

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The power to transform your foreskin into rusty iron.

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The Power To Become A Housefly And Be Immediately Killed By Your Mother

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The ability to scratch your balls telepathically.

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The power to laugh in the face of danger except for that time you walked face first into a glass door.

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The ability to grow grass at the rate that grass usually grows in an average situation.

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The power to fly, but only when standing on ground...

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the power to actually make clowns funny...

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The power to manipulate time and space to urinate straight into your bladder, but only if you are extremely dehydrated.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!