The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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The power to teleport someone into the nearest restroom after they've touched your thighs.

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The power to levitate only down stairs

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The power to live without water but you're trapped at sea

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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Ultra-strength when peeing

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Thhe ability to cry acid

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The power to shit someone elses pants.

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The power to slash hot c u m on a girls big t I t s

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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The power to return my ps4 for the third time, and wait for months to get a new one only to discover its the tv connection which is broken and I cant afford a new tv because I already spent a lot of money on ps4 games. Mural: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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the ability to fly to Pluto holding ur breath

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the power to understand gibberish written backwards and in binary code

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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The power to restate the obvious.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!