The power to levitate only down stairs

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to be able to walk on water for 2minutes at a time

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The ability to Hi

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the power to be tall only if your Yao Ming

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The power to tell if a politician is lying. (They always are.)

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The power to hear what your cat is thinking about.

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The ability to laugh like tickle me elmo

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The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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the power to change the day to sunday at 5:59am

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The ability to charge my iPhone, by starring at it real hard while rubbing my nipples!!!

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The power to time travel to the present moment

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The ability to make broken pens work again.

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The ability to shapeshift into any items but only pedophiles can use it

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The power to always choose the broken condoms without knowing

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The ability to fire a gun with precision accuracy. But only if your the target

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The awe-inspiring power of being able to throw up at will while yelling IMMA FIRIN' ME LAZOR.

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the power to shrink to 1 inch but only in a crowded street and you cant look up girls dresses,

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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the power to fly but only on a plane

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the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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The power to confess crimes you haven't committed.

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!