The power to see in the dark, but only when the lights are on.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the power to run in slow motion

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To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

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the power to die on the spot

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The power to type in the wrong capatcha.

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The Power to clone yourself instantly, but one of you dies!

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to use your dick/tits as your cellphone at any time.

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The power to smell any flower from the 15th century once a year.

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The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

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The power to turn everything one touches with one's hand into skittles, but only applying to amputees.

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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The power of the most useless power and have that power.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to smell people's moods

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the ability to add edges to any circle on anything that you can write on

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The power to digest corn.

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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The power of having a short attention sp-- Ooh shiny!

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to become attractive to women. but only when your with elderly people and Sarah Palin.

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!