The power to go hibernate at winter.

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The power to compare anything to porn because "you know it when you see it."

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The power to die on command.

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the power to get fat in America

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The power of having two left hands.

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The power to Shape shift into Bread. No consciousness of any kind, just bread, unable to change back.

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The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

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The power to fly really fast, but only in one direction (down).

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The power to turn into any edible object in a restaurant.

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The epic power of laser pointer vision.

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the power to hovertate

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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the power to make your nipples dissappear

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The power to see through walls, but not through air.

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The power to obey gravity

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The ability to go forward in time for 1 second but the process of going forward takes 1 second.

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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the power to speak fluent clingon, but only to the non-metally disabled

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Having taste buds in your anus.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power to eat your cereal and milk with a knife

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!