The power to turn oxygen into carbon dioxide.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to be in fashion.

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The power to do back flips whenever you want to but only in your mind.

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The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

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ability to run very fast forever

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Eclairvoiance: The ability to forsee when you will eat your next cream-filled, chocolate coated pastry...

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The power to only sit down and not stand up.

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The power to be invisible, when no cameras or people are looking.

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the power to give yourself sunburn

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to change traffic signals to anything that is not beneficial to you.

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The power of being invincible, except when a life-threatening situation develops.

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the power to be forever alone

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The power to shit bricks, uncontrollably.

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The power to sleep with your eyes open.

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the power uncontrollably explode expensive cars

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The power to walk upside down but only when you're in Australia.

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The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!