To be able to run the speed of light but only works if your standing still?.

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The ability to go to hell.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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The power to live in lava, but only when your cold

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to turn a light on with your mind, but only if the light is already on

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The power to turn into an exploding pink chair.

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to exaggerate everything, a power a billion, trillion overly trabillion times more powerful than anything, like 3000000 Chuck Norrises, except they are all weak in comparison to this power.

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The power to touch your toes

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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the power to fail at everything you do

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The power to crap without pissing.

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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The power to be gay on command.

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The ability to produce rainbows and yoghurt from your armpits.

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The power to turn any object into food

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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The power to change your urine to any color

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The power to only be obesely fat.

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The power to create mysterious stains on your clothes.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!