- Pointless Super Powers

The power to make someone forget you as soon as they laid eyes on you making you lonely forever:)

ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

The power to extend your pinky toe

the power to jump, but only on any surface

The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

The power of women's rights.

the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

the power of milking a cow aslong it is a horse that you are milking. the power to ride a bull for 0.55 nanoseconds. the power to kill 1 bacteria every 20 min. the power to spread herpes without having symptoms. the power of sharing awkward details of your bowel movements to your family at dinner. the power to lift a small cup of water. the power of falling of your face whilst knowing it will happen 20sec before. the power of inhibiting passage on the curb. the power to cause massive traffic jams without owning a car. the power of listening but not understanding. the power of understanding all languages but the one that is being spoken to you at the time.

The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

The power to slightly disfigure anything made out of macaroni.

The ability to cure polio, but only within U.S. borders.

The power of becoming an apple tree

The Power of your footstep sounding like a horse gallop

The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

power to breathe in water but when you get in to water you gonna die in 30 seconds

The power to have night vision when there's daylight.

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

The power to eat a ridiculous amount sandwiches without getting full

the power to be Justin bieber

To be able to commit a sexual offense but never get away with it

The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!