The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

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The power to look TV

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The power to surround yourself in fire, but only when you're underwater.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The power to control the weather, but only in space

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the power to burp every time you drink 1 litre of soda/fizzy

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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The power to read captchas 2% faster than usual.

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The power to start typing a sentance and then start writing another way to save on your car insurance is to take the The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start to write a book about a magic trick that reveals cards

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the power to smell like ham

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the ability to spin gold into straw

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the power to look directly at the sun only if it is on the other side of the earth

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the power to see through clear glass.

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The power to not get shit d*ck

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The power to live forever but only in a coma.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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the power to consume yourself and use it as food (dosn't remove pain and will cause medical condisions)

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the power to suck at absolutly everything you do, except at failing.

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The power to block your own powers

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the power to turn wine into water.

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The ability to forcibly break every bone in your body so you can shrink down never to regrow your bones back.

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The involuntary power (or rather compulsion) to add "collectors edition" to everything you ever give or sell or buy. "Old bike, but in perfect condition: Collectors edition" "Hi I am selling my body "Collectors edition" "Sadly I am allergic to my German shepherd: "Collectors edition" so I have to give it away." "Hi excuse me, where do I find the "collectors edition" Milk in this store? Eh? No any kind of "collectors edition Milk is fine" Sigh... What I mean is...

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mint berry crunch

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!