The power to read the future in a language you will never learn to understand. Moral: I read that "thy comment expects a billion red thumbs"... WTF does that mean?

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The power to shit on the ceiling

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the power to slightly darken the color of tree bark upon touch

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The ability to poop glue.

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the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

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the superpower of making pointless and lame jokes for which no human laughs (except crazy ones and apes)

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The ability to not drop anything ...when you're not holding anything

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the power to jump, but only on any surface

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the ability to make a really long post ajsfffffhkshgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddfgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggjssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa

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The power to turn invisible when crossing the road.

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the power to enter a coma.

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the power to laugh at burials and cry at weddings

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The power to laught at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to breath under water, while your in a submarine.

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The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to kill yourself.

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The power to smell water.

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The power to fly but only in your room

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The power to see oxygen.

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The power to shoot glue from your penis

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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the power to ryme words with orange, purple, and silver but only after eating your own poo and while singing a beyonce song

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!