the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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The power to have sex with anyone you want in the world, but only after you die.

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The power to walk up stairs faster then normal.

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to believe Jehova's witnesses.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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the power to sit down BUT you have to sit down for ever

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The ability to pass out at will.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The power of reading a book unless it has 3 or more pages.

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The power to eat food, unless you're touching food.

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The power to convert Oxygen into chemical energy and waste gases.

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The ability to watch movies in 1D

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The power to vomit pizza and root beer chunks at will.

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The power of having two left hands.

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The power to create a vaporization beam that removes one atom per second.

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The power that turns farts into music.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to turn your penis into a vagina... but only if you're a straight man... and you can't change it back...

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The power to invent things as soon as you see them

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The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

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ability to run very fast forever

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!