The power to defeat Chuck Norris but only if you can reach the speed of light

The power to summon a spray of bullets going everywhere in the room, and bullet-vulnerability.

The ability to sense every time your mom and dad are doing it even when you don't want to.

The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

The ability to invent a new language that no one else will ever learn.

Power to shoot a fireball,but you need to be on fire

The power to see water one meter behind you.

the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power to enlarge your penis to any size, but only you can see it.

The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

Invisibility, when no one is looking.

The ability to laugh one's ass off.

The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

The power to kill yourself.

The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

To be able to generate cancer at will

The power to enhance your enemy's strength

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!