The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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The power to eat food a little faster. So when you are done you have to just stay there for 5 more minutes for everybody to finish

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Invisibility, when no one is looking.

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The power to have everything taste like rubbing alcohol

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The ability to shoot a banana from your eyebrow every time you are riding on a unicycle.

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The power to give this suggestion a thubs up rating.

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The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

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To be able to generate cancer at will

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The power to enhance your enemy's strength

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The power to understand irony.

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The power to uncontrollably say "thats what she said" whenever it is possible, even if its really shitty

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The power to cash cheques that are only ever made out to someone else.

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The power to talk to plants but only when they have mean things to say.

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the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to read minds but only when you're alone

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The power to forget everything u learned during a test.

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Most of Gods powers part 2: Let us pretend that God really created everything... including sin right? God: Jebus, I want you to go down to earth and receive torture of legendary proportions, and die. Jebus: Why? God: To remove sin... Jebus: Uh... cant you just remove it? God replies either: 1. Yeah but ill be more fun this way, ill have you killed just to show you are not mortal anyways lol troll! 2. No, Sin is more powerful than me, so you better go die to not really die, relax... 3. Son, my ways are mysterious, "thunderstorm scares Jebus to go down) Moral disclaimer: God can be anyone`s God, and Jebus is not to be confused with the completely different Jesus. I mean every God out there and Jebus is simply a name I put instead of whoever prophet your religion has, so I really insulted everyone religious. Moral: (the other was a disclaimer) Religion is written by men... drunk men... now go eat your bread and drink your wine... and you shall become like Jebus... tortured and crucified? To show the world you are immortal? Side effects: Alcholism and all that follows, including a quicker death... to prove your immortality? (Hypnosis is powerful shit, especially when you are drunk, take it from a experienced hypnotist)

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The power to instant nose-bleed, but not be able to stop it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!