The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

The power to be in any position, and still be comfortable.

The power to freeze laptops when you're watching porn and someone comes in.

the power to take ipecac without throwing up

The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

The power to control paprika with your mind

The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

The power to smell WiFi Signals

The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

The power to detect homosexuality in animals. ~scramjat

The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

the ability to be a super genius but can't speak or write

the ability to levitate

The ability to metamorphose into any kind of cheese

The power to make instruments taste mayonnaise.

The power to do a barrel roll without instruction

The power to be missed when present.

The power to turn into a pebble

the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

power to age faster

The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!