The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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The power to find any film directed by Uwe Boll entertaining.

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Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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THE SUPER FRIENDS HEROES LEAGUE OF SUPER HEROES OF LESSER USEFUL HEROES! KNIGHT FARTSALOT!: Fear my methane! You and me in one small room for 3 days and you will faint for sure! Uncle Diabeetush: Save their parents Captain! Ill take care of their children! Captain Novolin: I have great sugar level control! Help me! Evil Mistress Sugarpie is too sweet! Runald MagnifiCient Donalds: HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR HAMBARGAR WOOOOO! I keep American people from starvation! Remember kids less than 250 pounds counts as starvation! And their LEADER... MORAL MAN!: The hell am I introducing myself here for? Damn you Subconscious! How can you expect people to understand my genius of putting myself here! They are morons! Oh... hi everybody.. wazzup?

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The ability to read your own mind

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The power to make Dylan Zona trip on everything when he walks and falls face first I to a pile of shit

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The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power that turns farts into music.

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The ability to quit smoking by giving yourself lung, heart, and throat cancer, coupled with enphysema.

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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el poder de leer "google" en cualquier idioma

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The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

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The power to nag at the speed of light before he even thinks about doing it you can literally nag him to death faster then the rapper twister can say his own name!!!

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The ability to fool other drivers on the road into thinking that you are a car-sized mouse.

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The power to turn your pants into underwear, but only when you're wearing them.

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the power to walk an inch above land but only on labor day

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The power to have two eyes that can't see very far or through anything.

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The power to die when you get old

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The power to survive extreme temperatures, for extremely short amounts of time.

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The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

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The power to regulate your body temperature at about 98 degrees at all times.

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The power to know if someone in China eats Rice

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!