The power to suck a golf ball through a garden hose

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to have no life and watch a whole tv series in a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The Ability to shit studs once a week

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to kill anyone by hitting them gently on the forehead by yelling "I HIT THIS VICTIM REALLY HARD! I AM A MURDERER HAW HAW HAW! At least 2 times before, then 3 times after the deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

The power to poo without wiping.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to breath under water but only if you're holding your breath

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to kill anyone with your mind, In your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to have no superpower

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to open any trash can lid with telekinesis if its within view.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The power to revive anyone....But only if they are alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The ability to think why does it say write your own when you type it.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The power to fall in love reptiles

thumb_up thumb_down +85

That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

thumb_up thumb_down +83

The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to be invincible......... only when you are not in danger or harm.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to communicate with sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

The power to smell through your arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to deep throat a giraffe!

thumb_up thumb_down +73

The power to fire lasers from my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

The power to be able to see 1 second into the future

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!