you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to remove cancer from stroke victim's bodies.

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The power to vomit every time you burp.

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The power to level up on a game which you can't level up on.

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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the power to see through people's clothing when they're naked

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to have 99 problems, except your dog... if she is female.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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Justin Bieber

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Infinite knowledge when dead

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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The power to fly really fast but only in closets.

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what do you call someone who never says hello............................ a shy person

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!