The power to not constantly thumb my comments up or down, whichever. Moral: Energy spent on me, is energy well spent! Stay proud and walk tall soldier!

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to pull any woman that just asked you for a shag.

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the power to read this sentence

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The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

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The power to produce highly concentrated sulphuric acid in your sweat glands.

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The power to teleport yourself into space without a spacesuit on

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the power to read when you're not looking at any word or symbol

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The power to turn everything you touched into gold. A-hem. Midas, you listening?

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The ability to judge a book by its cover.

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The power to be stupid reading this.

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The power to fly but only in your room

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the power to turn everything you touch into gold......deja vu?

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The ability to type with your penis on your smart phone during a video chat.

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The power to flush toilets with your mind

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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Ability to fly 3 feet off the ground and at normal walking speed

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!