the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to teleport yourself anywhere you want except for your major organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

The power to absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +62

the power to fax people with your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The power to be special just like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Infinite knowledge when dead

thumb_up thumb_down +58

the ability to take an apple core out of the bin at will

thumb_up thumb_down +56

the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

thumb_up thumb_down +56

the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

thumb_up thumb_down +52

The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

the power to be 100% pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The power to remove your foreskin at any given time

thumb_up thumb_down +42

the power to freeze people only when it's cold

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The Power to Power

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to levitate, but only after exactly 10 hours of sleep and you have to be wearing a tin foil bathing suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

To the comment below: You wont get a chance to miss me mortal... Moral: The color of envy... you wish you could be like me... everyone of you, yet some of you got the balls/pussies to prove it! For the people! For the freedom of speech! For courage and strength! For balls of steel! For the ladies... and most importantly... because I f*cking want to! NOW AND FOREVER! I AM MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The power to lick your elbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

the power to die

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!