The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

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the ability to make your eyes pop out.

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The power to predict last week's lottery numbers

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the ability to do see through any girl's clothes but you must be singing a Demi Lovato song at 76.786 Decibels EXACTLY!

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the ability to see as well as stevie wonder

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The power to hear in the dark.

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The power that when you sit down you fall through the seat

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The power to see through glass

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The ability to unknowingly untaim domestic animals.

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The power to win any game against a 5-year-old.

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The power to use a rectangular prism to generate electricity to go on a square-shaped object full of pixels and create things with it.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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the power to freeze people only when it's cold

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the power to teleport but it takes longer than it would to walk to your destination.

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The power to do anything else but worship me. Moral: I DEMAND SATISFACTION! I mean I dont need it, I just want you to do something useful with your life for once... That practically makes me into a saint... Aww.... Steve Jobs No More... LOOOOOOOLLLIPOP!

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The ability to grow breasts once a year.

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The power to turn on electronic devices without pressing the switch, but only when you're touching the switch.

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01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101111 01110111 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001

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The power to get off the internet and do something productive

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The ability to turn into a really comfortable chair FOREVER.

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The power to know the word for potato in every human language... including binary (011100000110111101110100011000010111010001101111)

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to never receive pop-ups when surfing porn, but only on gay porn

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!