The power to only be obesely fat.

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the power to sleep while standing!

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The power of slowing down your reflexes respond whenever you want.

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The power to journey into the future of the past.

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the power to be immortal, but only temporally

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the power to do anything ...but only when you're dreaming, lasting only as long as you're asleep..

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The power to not do it.

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The power to have any girl as your girl friend but they turn ugly

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The power to instantaneously fall asleep but only when tomorrow is a day off.

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The power to run half as fast as whoever is chasing you.

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The power to go back in time but only be able to go 1 second back

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The power to turn into the Hulk, but only when you are asleep.

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The Power to Breath When Ur dead

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the power to teleport but then immediatly cr@p your pants

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The Power to sh*t your food before eating it.

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the ability to do 3 backflips in a row when no one is looking

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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Brazilian waxing via telepathy.

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The power to predict how an event could have played out, but only after the event has already happened.

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The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

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the power to like Hilary Clinton

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The ability to mess up a Rubix Cube with your mind

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the power to concentrate all the oil and grease in your body into one mega zit that you can pop at people, and possibly use as a propulsion system....if oily enough

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The power to count exactly how many babies under the age of three weeks existed in the last 14 seconds.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!