the ability to un-dank any meme

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The power to blow up, before a bomb next to you blows up.

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The ability to know when men have erections

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The ability to have superman's powers and weaknesses, but have an 100% chance to have a suit made of indestructible kryptonite.

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The ability to find the sharpest object in an given drawer, by having it puncture your hand. Every time.

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The power to die,but only if your alive!

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The power to turn your current clothes inivisible

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The power to shoot projectiles from your eyes to the inside of your head.

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power of women's rights.

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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The Power to touch MC Hammer

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The power to make your left hand glow whenever you put your right hand up your ass.

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The power to fuck your moms pussy at will (her opinion or desire means nothing to the will of your useless superpower!). Moral: SONS OF SICKMAN FRAUD REJOICE!

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The ability to recall lyrics of particularly terrible music with perfect accuracy.

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The power to die at will

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The power to hurt other people by hurting yourself, and you both sustain the damage.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The power to stay dry in the rain, while indoors.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!