The power of omnipotence and omniscience but you work in such mysterious ways that youre both invisible and intangible and without will to do skwat. Oh wait that sounds like...

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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the power to break the nib of a pencil so that its pointless

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The power think five times slower.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to die at will

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The power to be immortal until the moment that you would die.

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The ability to headbutt yourself in the face.

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The power to die every time you are standing on something.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The ability to pull Bleach Flavored lighter fluid out of your ass every time you see a modern feminist or a Jacob Satorious video

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The power uncontrollably self destruct when you feel safe.

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The power to break the tip of a pencil every time you blink

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power to age faster

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The power to pronounce the word "rural."

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The power to make anyone you see look surprise.

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The power to cause weeds to grow twice as fast as usual in your bed of prized petunias.

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The power to be really offensive after you finished a sentence U FUKING JAP

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the power to sleep with any woman, unless your a man

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the power to see everything as if it were a 1 year olds dralling.

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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teh pwoer 2 rite liek dis!!!11!1!111!!!! ex dee

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----the power to hold your breath until your die-----

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!