- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

the power to never be late to work, but only when you're unemployed.

The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

The power to see through womens clothes, but your gay.

The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

teleport to the place where you stand

The power to turn into a 90 year old woman with 20+ diseases

The power to fill up your HP, but only when it's full.

The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

The power to teleport......one nanometer every million years

Having perfect 20-20 vision, only when wearing glasses.

The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

The power to read terms and conditions

The power to shoot glue from your penis

The power to be able to fall asleep instantly

The power to control weather on Mars

The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

the power to shape shift to yourself

The power to write about pointless superpowers.

the power to shoot fireballs only when your underwater

The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

The power to make fires bigger, but cant control them

The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

The ability to teleport 1 Planck length in any direction you want

The ability to see into the present.

Pointless Super Powers