a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The ability to lose 0.000000000001 percent more skin per year.

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The ability to die, when you say: "death powers activate!" . You can only do it once though.

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The ability to know any language but only after learning it.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The power to have any nice guy, but they're all gay.

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to eat 2 hotdogs in the same bun

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The power to produce up to 20 gummy bears at once through the process of budding

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The abillity to laugh hystericaly at theese superpowers, But only when On the toilet pooping.

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The power to give yourself a migraine at will.

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

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The power to have all pointless superpowers, but only on the 12th and or 13th on january on a year that isn't 2015 or lower, but you have to be wearing nothing but purple underwear and a skanky hat.

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the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

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The ability when standing still you hover 1milimeter

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the power to become phil collins, but only after peter gabrial left

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The power to turn into wood once you go inside a wood chipper.

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The power to grow more genitals.

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The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!