- Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!

The power to be stupid reading this.

The ability to die on command.

The power to not respond to gravity (only when you're in space).

The Power to penetrate Ellen Degeneres's Vagina.

The ability to be blind, deaf, and mute at will.

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

The power to travel through time... 1 second at a time

The power get everyone's attention by jerking off in public

The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

The ability to see the future through the eyes of people you don't know in places you can never go while you are doing life threatening work.

The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

The power to see out of the back of your head but never the front

The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

The power to barf up a narwhal, but only on Wednesdays.

The ability to judge a book by its cover.

The power to jump several thousand feet in the air, without the power to survive the impact of landing

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

The power to get a song stuck in someone's head.

All of aquaman's powers.

The power to lock open doors

The power to volunteer as tribute.

The power to speak a language only you can undeerstand

The ability to become sexually attractive to Killer Whales

Pointless Super Powers