The power to not finish your....

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The power of super farts, which doesn't work unless you probably breathe, by super farts I also mean really really really stinky long farts..

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the power of losing and getting in 2nd place or 3th. the power of clearing your mind only for it to stay blank. the power of riding a horse really well aslong as you think it is a cow. the power of breathing AIR. the power of bellyflopping cement. the power of reading ancient arameîc. the power of speaking perfect gibberish.

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The power to bake cakes precisely 2.7% faster than usual.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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Justin Bieber

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The power to sneeze out of your mouth and cough out of your nose.

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The power to attract any women you like by ripping of your junk.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to not think of a productive power.

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The power to shift baroque and rococo era paintings proximately 2" up and 3" to the left.

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the power to be in AA.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The ability to understand everything about a language after 100 years of intense studying when you could be doing something more interesting.

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The power to transform into a paralysed turtle with half its shell missing

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The power to use internet explorer at a moderate working speed

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The ability to build a wall... wait a minute!

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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The power to give others the power to give others the same power at will.

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the power to fail at life

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the power to teleport but then immediatly cr@p your pants

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The to ejaculate anytime but only when your mom appears in front of you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!