The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to completely understand Monty Python sketches.

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The power to Insult people by accidentally saying something you didn't know was offensive to them. You adopted jew

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The ability to turn your fingers into angry bears without you being able to control them

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The power to spit so hard and fast that you hit yourself in the back of the head every time... and it can only be used once, because its so hard it goes trough everything...(thus hits you in the skull duh) including your skull... Moral: Remember kids! Protect, Serve and Survive, and ask your mommy and daddy why they make the sexytime... their response may be pretty interesting...

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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the passive ability to teleport to the center of the world every tenth of a second

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The power to put your finger in your brain, but doing so kills you and achieves nothing.

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The power to handle the truth. Moral: Because with the exception of a few good men... YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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I’M JUST HAVING AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO THE UNIVERSE. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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BULLET ATTRACTION.

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The power of becoming an apple tree

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The power to lose body parts by merely thinking about losing said parts coupled together with worry. I.e. I hope I don't lose my testicles.... Damn-it!!

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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to have the power to dig a hole 2 milimeters deep in a century

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The power to be gangsta, only in front of true gangsta's.

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The power to go back in time but only be able to go 1 second back

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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The power to make school 24 hours , and making vacations for 30 minutes.

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The ability to control Do-Do Birds

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to lose your voice when you yell a lot.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!