The ability to teleport to the Taj Mahal whenever you want ONLY the Taj Mahal

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The power to shit without squinting.

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X-Ray vision that only works on fat chicks.

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The power to digest food wrappers, but only once youve opened them.

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The power to walk on water... but drown in land.

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To be ALMOST able to run faster than a speeding bullet

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The power to become a forensic paranoiac raving lunatic at will... HEY! YOU! Why are you gonna give my comment a thumbs down eh? AND WHY A THUMBS UP? Are you gonna hack my account and kill my family? OH YEAH! OH YEAH? I AM GONNA KILL THEM MYSELF JUST TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU! BAHAHAHAHA!

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The power to laugh uncontrolably in public

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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Read fortune cookies without opening them

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the ability to say either "beans are magical!" or "beans are fruit!" in an angry tone, and have people believe you

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The power to make your shit sink or float on command.

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The power to turn on a hot flash, but only when it's 80 degrees out.

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power to poop out 5x5 ice cube

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The power the fly unless your alive. The power to swim in water unless your wet.

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The Power to breath while under a cup of water

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The power to clap 14 times a second

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The power to be lucky when you least need it (for example, you always have perfect toast, but you're not lucky enough to not get hit by a car)

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The ability to instantly friendzone yourself.

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the power to attract flying frisbees to your own nose

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The power to increase you`re pain at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!