The power to see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch

The power to make your self drunk using only your mind, but only while your driving your kids to school

The power to open doors with your bare hands

The power of immortality, but only when you try to commit suicide.

EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

The power to climb up fallen trees

The power to die

The power to run at 0.5mph

The ability to transform into anything... gradually, over the course of a week.

The power to like this power

The ability to innoculate against all non-existent diseases

the power to detect when there is oxygen near you

The ability to lift small objects with your mind, but only if you are touching them.

The power to telepathically fold paper.

The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

The power to volunteer as tribute.

The power to not have any power at all

Ability to eat a burger without going to the mall first and talking to your grandma there for 45 minutes about how it hasn't rained for a quite awhile and we could sure use some!!!

The power to kill yourself just by thinking about something.

The power to be light and stand against darkness. Moral: FU Destiny!

The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

the power to like charlie

The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!