Shoppers today in the mattress department we just started a great promotion.

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the power to be super ugly

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the power two peel m&ms -jesse

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the power to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times

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The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

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The power to be an artistic genius during a math test.

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The power to recharge batteries by licking them.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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the power of not being able to feel pain during constipation

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The power to read your own mind

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The power to tell what a person has eaten by the smell of their farts

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to be able to fly but only 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001 millimetres of the ground and not even feel or look like your floating

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the power to misspell

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The ability to know how to drive a car but only when piloting light aircraft

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The power to defeat any ant you may encounter.

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The power to write pointless superpowers

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The power to fuck any person of the opposite sex, but you're incredibly gay.

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the power to spit long distances at inconvenient times

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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The Power To Lick My Own Penis

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the power to make coffee room temperature by touching it

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!