The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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The power to sleep while you're awake.

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The power to turn delicious and tasteful food into useless brown mush.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to have intense orgasms, but only if you choke yourself.

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The power to scare female plants.

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The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to walk through air.

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the power to write on cellophane

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the power to turn a care package on black ops from dogs to ammo

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the power to be in AA.

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the power not eat more than one pringel.

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The power to jump 1 inch higher than the typical person.

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The power to die everytime you pee

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The power to teleport to any 3rd world country

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power to turn into batman only after the bad guys left

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the power to send text messages while driving

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The power to wipe your ass with one confetti

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!