The ability to straighten pictures on a wall with your mind.

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The power to make any woman fall in love with you, only when your wife is beside you.

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The power to jump high into the sky, only to drop down later...

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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To get to know everything Jack Nicholson has said yet you blurb out his comments and random and by the time you face this YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: You think this entry was boring? It is great actually, what? You say it sucks? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power become a kite but not when it's windy

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The power to make any liquid luke warm (it works both ways)

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The power to float in water, and then sink sometimes.

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The power to run at 0.5mph

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The power to collect a interesting variety of ceramic animals.

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The power to kill someone with a knife

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Listen to Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black everywhere you go.

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The power to blink at incredibly fast speeds

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to say things twice. The power to say things twice.

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to absolutely nothing

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The power to see through glass walls.

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The power to like any show

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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the power to turn food into shit

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The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

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The ability to perceive the presence of light.... with your ears. (warning, blindness may effect abilities potency.)

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The ability to not slip on banana peels

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!