You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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the power to melt your bones

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The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The ability to telekinetically form crop circles in your own pubic hair.

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the power to catch em' all

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the power to be Justin bieber

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power of flight but only when you're within three feet of another person.

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The power to give ANY girl the best orgasm she will ever have, but only when in Vatnajökulsþjóðgarður, Iceland. Between the local time of 3am-3:15am.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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The power to step only on the surface of lego bricks, no other surface.

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The power to change laws if you're allowed to.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The ability to count to potato

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the power to flick a coin and get heads 50% of the time.

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The power of extreme superstrenght, you scratch you`re nuts and planet earth explodes from the vibrations.

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The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it.

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The ability to change your hair color to your current hair color

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the power to orgasm with your mind

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The power to take huge shits at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!