the power to predict the outcome of any event after it's already happened

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The power of being negative all the time.

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The ability to teleport to any place in the universe, but only if it is currently occupied by something else

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to make really bad jokes: knock knock who's there chicken chicken who no thats an owl not a chicken, you goose!

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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The power to fly if you are eating.

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The power to play all Videogames you want, but you have to pay the original price for them.

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the power to make plants grow at a slightly excelled rate when lying on top of them .... you also smell like shit, all the time.

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The power to see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch

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The power to make fires bigger, but cant control them

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The power to uncontrally boop

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to make cheeseburgers only when your tummy is full.

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The problem to spit bars like a white person with autism

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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The power to make remotes invisible

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power of measuring grains of corn from a large distance.

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The power to see everything that will happen in your future life when you die.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

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The power to enter the dreams of people who regularly have night terrors

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!