The power to die using only your mind.

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The power of turning into a crushed can right after you got into a car accident.

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the power of running at superspeed, whenever you are sat down

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The power to ejaculate out of your ears once daily

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To be able to cut paper by doing the scissor action with your fingers.

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The power to smash people's heads in with things.

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The Power to Die if you are dead

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The ability to see things only as their component atoms.

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The power to count to infinity.

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The power to smell farts from miles away

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The power to recite 1,000 digits of pie, but only when you need to say the Fibonacci sequence

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to make whatever it is you see and/or think about into cotton candy.

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the power to stand straight but only when you bend over

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The power to pee after drinking lots of water

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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the power to have a combination lock, and forget the code

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The power to be invisible only when you're not in anybody's line of sight.

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The power to die instantly from not reading books, meaning if you don't read books you'll die.

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The power to believe I type actual morals. Moral: At horsehead network? Now please go look for prostitutes at a church or astronauts under the sea you fucklng ass and blahblah!

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to do nothing

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The power to make a white paper green but only with a colored pencil

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The power to generate electricity, unfortunately, you're not resistant to it.

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The power to elect George W Bush.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!