the power to eat 10 cotton balls every year

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The power to make only slightly funny jokes

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the power of fart helium

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the power of shitting on your enemy at any tmie

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The power to control unsalted butter very slightly with huge amounts Of effort

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to run really fast, but only when facing brick walls 2 ft away.

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The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

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The power to see the past.

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The power to lick any telephone pole to call somebody in the winter.

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The power to have ABSOLUTELY anything you want!... ...As long as that absolutely anything you want happens to be a pile of premium fresh horsecrap... Moral: This made myself lol, so it probably has 16 red thumbs by now YAY!!!!!!!!

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the ability to die but to reappear as a strange families pet turkey

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The power to never finish what you sta...

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The power to have really sweaty palms.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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whenever you want to sleep an anime starts happening in real life

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the power to be blind, but only if you're blind

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Have all the superpowers there is in one milisecond every 100 years (If your still alive)

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The power to talk in Wingdings.

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The power to smell through your arse.

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The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The power to let 100 cockroaches crawl upon you for everytime you display emotion

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You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!