The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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The power to fly but you can't go ten feet above ground.

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the power to fire angry ticks out of your nipples

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

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the power to complete math exercises

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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the power to get a 100" erection but only over your dead greatgrandma

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The power to be Chuck Norris

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The power to escape reality by entering the magical land of skyrim via your PS3.

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The power to create powers

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the power to wake up 2 seconds before your alarm.

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The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

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The power to speak Italian fluently while dining in a Chinese restaurant.

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The power to disintegrate yourself

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The ability to know what time it is when looking at a working clock.

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The power to speed up time moments before you are about to die.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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The power to hole 1 inch putts.

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The power to know you don't have a superpower

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The ability to get shot, for real.

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The power to be stupid

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!