The power to strangle yourself to death

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ability to swim like a frog with no legs

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To be able to summon old people

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The power to know the ending of the book before you get there.

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swear words -jesse

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The power to procrastinate so much, you don't even eat, and eventually die.

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The power to divide by zero

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The power to never get drunk

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The power to solve every problem in the world. By dying.

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The power to think of pointless powers.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to get hurt without a break.

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EntirelyTooManyNapkins Man

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The power of eletric energy in the ancient history

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The super power to power any electronics at will. But you need 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 Apms in your body to power a phone for 0,0000000001 seconds.

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The ability to be Edward Cullen

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The power to produce boogers that look and taste like caramel until you put them in your mouth...

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The power to expel a single spaghetti from any limb randomly

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The power to expel a slight breeze after inhaling.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The ability to hear the opinions of inanimate objects.

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The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

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The ability to breath underwater but loses the ability to breath normally forever

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The power to correctly guess how old shag rugs are

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!