The aability to double the current amount of money you have, only if the bank gets half the money you have.

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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The ability to tell what a tire tastes like from 6 inches away.

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The power to have a very keen sense of smell 24/7 but only when a fart is present

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The power to shit yourself on a really hot day with no change of underwear

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The power of turning to stone everyone who says to you "will u fancy a slightly racist T-shirt?"

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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The power to turn into a pebble

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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the power to write on cellophane

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the power to write amazingly neat but only with invisible ink

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The power to open a pickle jar in one try

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the power to have access to unlimited porn but your parents never leave the room

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You can hear what people think ...in sign language.

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the power to make rotten food go good again, but only if it's exactly 2 months, 4 days, 9 hours and 13 minutes old.

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The power to make a woman be quiet but only during sex.

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The power of self-propelled flight, but only when you're the President of the United States.

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the power to know when someone queefed

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The power to lick your elbow.

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The power to use your penis as a lasso.

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The power to shit diamonds, but only into magical underwear that turn diamonds into shit.

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The power to get stuck to doorknobs in dangerous situations

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!