The power to have a pointless power.

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The ability to rectify health and safety concerns, using a sword.

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to fly but only when your eyes are closed.

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The power to transform any cutlery into a plastic spork, but only when you're in life threatening situations.

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The power to actually care what these people are writing.

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The power to blink a nano second slower

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The power to cause slow people in front of you in the corridor to walk 3% faster

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The power to make people believe it wasn't' you who just farted

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The power to listen to justin beiber

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The ability to sleep but only when you don't want to

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the power to see 3 seconds into the past.

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the power to shout and make people piss their pants

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The ability to have udders for nipples.

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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the power to fly while under water

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The power to kill anything you touch, but only when touching adorable puppies.

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The power to resurrect Hitler at will, will only work if you are Jewish.

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to randomly self destruct at any time

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32% Levitation.

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The power to see other peoples dreams.

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The power to never be surprised when the toaster goes off.

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!