The power to make the key on your keyboard not work

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The power to tell when someone last masturbated, but only by shaking their hand.

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The power to die at will, and you can only do it once.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The power to be a really good bowler, but only with a bowling ball that has the skull of your dead father embedded in its center.

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The ability to give the best hugs in the world to people who don't need be hugged

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the power to awesomely tap dance when you are angry.

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The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

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the power to be in minecraft but as a pig near someones house

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The power to.... OMG a fish :D wait... what was i talking about?

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The power to watch Netflix instead of writing a thesis paper.

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The ability to teleport but you poop your pants whenever you do it even if your not wearing pants

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The power to hear what is happening to objects (such as a bed).

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The power to produce fingernails at will that people can eat.

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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the most pointless super power is being able to create ugly chicks

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The power to have all sensory input interpreted as pain

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the power to get in the van

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The power to deep throat a giraffe!

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The power to jump faster.

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Astral Projection. Distance: .3mm

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the abilty to come back to life, but in a black hole.

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The ability to teleport 0.00000000000000007 seconds in the past

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!